Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings. ~ Jane Austen

Thursday, September 25, 2014


My sister is married. As of Saturday. And I thought I was doing well. 
I mean, of COURSE I miss her.
I miss being able to talk to her about anything. I can't even text her right now cuz she is honeymooning in Jamaica.
And I really am sooo happy for them.
But there's so many things I want to talk to her about.
Trying sushi for the first time.
How truly fantastic work was today.
Does she want the Newsboys 'Go' CD that we purchased together, or do I get it?
And by the way, I just organized my room, and there is SO. MUCH. SPACE. now that she's moved out.
And... the list goes on...
But it was the same way when I broke up with Brandon. I missed texting him about random things. At least this time I know I can text Brianna soon.
I thought I was doing well.
I organized our... now my... bedroom. As previously mentioned. And that has kept me busy in my spare time. And I went out for sushi (yes, also previously mentioned). And Oma has been staying for the week. I haven't really had time for loneliness to sink in.
But today my cousin texted me how things are with one less around. And as I was texting back, telling him what's been going on this week, I realized that loneliness has been avoided all week by the business of it.
And next week I'll have nothing to hide behind.
But maybe it's better.
To just face it head on.
And just pray and remember: I am not alone. And my sister is not gone forever. She is just married. And I WILL be over there a lot.
Change is a good thing.
It can make us stronger.
Help us mature.
Teach us thankfulness.
Refocus our lives.
And show us what truly matters.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Daily Thanks

Daily I try remember:
Give thanks
Be thankful
Find the good in everything.

So often I forget.
But at the end of the day
My carpe diem notebook comes out.
The soft faux leather cover.
And I think
Consider my day
Remember what I did
What happened.
And I find thankfulness items.
That's how many I've found in just over two months.
It would be more, but I forgot about it for a couple weeks.

Seize the day.
Find what you are thankful to God for
Instead of focusing on the negative
And you will be joy-filled.

Thursday, September 11, 2014


Today was that crazy-cold. The kind that gets inside your head and slows you down and makes you want to curl up in a ball and stop trying. I had to sort out cucumbers good from bad and my hands were so numb and burning pain from the inside so that I could barely pick them up, never mind feel if they were soft or not. But bad cucumbers get wrinkly and some were moldy from all this rain, this misty rain that gets inside everything and makes everything damp and all the vegetables go bad before their time.
James-boss rescued me from the piercing cold of the overstaffed-by-the-other-boss-stand and sent me to sort tomatoes inside and warm up nice. No more burning numb hands. And early lunch with watery-hot coffee just hit the spot and cheered me up and laughter with my coworker-friends.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Patience for a Lonely Soul

"You should be getting over this by now, it's been two months. "
And I am.
It's not like someone died.
Only a breakup.
But. We were together two years, I think I'm allowed to take more than two months to recover.
But I'm not getting over the loneliness.
My sister is almost married and gone.
My boyfriend is no longer mine.
My few friends are moving away and I have no car to visit them with.
I am indescribably lonely.
Left behind by life.
They are moving on, moving forward.
I am stuck in this post-boyfriend, pre-sister's-wedding, pre-job, post-piano rut. Sunk deep into it.
And all I can do is pray.
And wait for God's timing.
And I will have that be enough.
"Patience, my love,
there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
My plan for you
is so much better than you can ever envision.
You just need to learn patience. "

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

A Week

Get up at 5:45 a.m.
Practice piano
Work again
Practice piano in the evening again
Practice piano
Music lesson
Women's Bible study
Practice piano
Get distracted
See Brandon
Spend the day with Brandon
Begin again

Monday, June 16, 2014


There's this decision I need to make.
A life altering one.
I never thought about it this seriously before.
Maybe partially because I was in the middle of the piano year. 
And I don't quit in the middle of something.
But now I have only a couple more lessons left.
And I feel like maybe God is telling me to stop piano.
I can never consentrate on it. 
And I never have any money.
Because I spend almost $4,000 a year of my very meager income on piano lessons.
I feel like I could be spending my money on better things, 
And saving it for my future.
And I never have any time.
I can't seem to stay on top of anything. 
Get done what needs doing.
So maybe this is God telling me
"Lauren, enough is enough. 
I want you to take a different path than the one you've been following."
We had a Bible study lesson this year, 
And one of the things that really stood out to me was this:
"you have time for everything on God's to-do list"
Maybe the reason I never have time 
Is because this is no longer on God's to-do list for me.

Monday, May 5, 2014


Sometimes I wonder if I have depression. And yes, I definitely get depressed. But God always carries me through. I feel like things are improving. Although last time I thought that my day turned out horribly. But I'm making more of an effort, even though it's setting me back in my studies. Now I need to work on at least acting happy. Because lately I'm always grumpy. I think it may have to do with stress. A lot is piling up right now. But I am doing my very best to trust God. He knows best.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

My Cozy Bed

Is there anything nicer late at night than new pajamas, fresh flannel sheets and a soft pillow?

Friday, April 11, 2014


Shaking knees shaking hands ruining my song shaking the pedal losing control blurring my notes nearing on panic
Made it through.
It's over. Played through my mistakes.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Bad Piano Teachers

I would like to take a moment to comment on the deplorable lack of good piano teachers. I was just watching my brother perform in a music festival competition. He is in grade 6 piano, playing against other grade 6 pianists, and the amount of kids who didn't even know something as basic as how to sit properly at the piano was abominable, and just a foretaste of badly played music. At this stage in piano I expected the playing to be much better than the music that was put forward. I do not blame the students. It takes a gifted and especially determined student to rise above the mistakes of a bad teacher. I do not say I am a good teacher, I have only been teaching for a year. I just think it is depressing how many people who play piano, or any instrument, think that just because they can play they can teach, and it is to the students's detriment that teachers seem to think that just teaching a student how to read music can actually be classified as teaching an instrument. Dear music teachers, please learn how to teach properly.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Dutch Blitz

Dutch Blitz with a bunch of tweens.
But fun.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Pure Peppermint Oil

Apparently it scares away the spiders
For spiders
Peppermint is deadly

$9.60 for 30 mL 
It better work

If it does 
It will be worth
Every penny

Tuesday, March 25, 2014


I want to change
It's just so hard
When you're living in fear
And you feel ridiculous for being afraid.
But now it's out
And what they do with that knowledge
Will affect so much
God help us all.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Approaching Things

Life is busy
My piano teacher kept reminding me that music festival is getting close, and my song isn't ready.
Obviously she doesn't know me.
I did my best to not let that stress me out. 
It will be ready.
It always is.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

My Sister is Getting Married

My big sister
Is getting married
I'm so happy for her
For them
I'm so happy
But it's kind of weird
I mean, she's getting MARRIED...
I'm also feeling bittersweet
Only 7 months until 
My life is radically changed
My beloved sister
Will move out of our room
This house
This city
No more big sister to depend on for everything
I'll have to do stuff myself all the time 
(Wohich will be good for me) 
No sister to mooch off
But she'll be happy
I'll be happy for them
And she'll only be an hour away
So I'll still see her often
And she'll always be my big sister

Monday, February 17, 2014

So Happy

So very happy
When that thing you've wanted
For someone else
Comes true :)

Thursday, February 13, 2014


It is tempting to abandon my blogs.
Because I have an ideal blog in my head.
But then I think of all I've written over the years,
And the thought saddens me, that all that would be gone.
But then
I could always keep this blog,
And delete the other one,
And start from scratch with that one.
But, if I really think about it,
I don't have time for that perfect blog.
So I will continue writing this one,
And my teacher blog.
And I will continue leaving my blog that was closest to my ideal
On the backburner.
Waiting for the day when I will have time for something regular.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


I am determined.
To get done everything I have written on my to-do list.
We'll see what the morning brings.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Monday, February 3, 2014


Don't blog
Why or why not?
No diary
No commitment
My life is a sad series of phases:
Short good ones
Long bad ones

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Help me
To organize my life according to what You desire
Instead of what I feel like in the moment.
I know that only in this way can I ever feel like I'm accomplishing anything.
So please help me.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Christmas Holidays in a List

Hang out with boyfriend
Slide car into ditch
I'm ok
Car's ok
People are nice
Baby it's cold outside
Parents arrive
Wait for CAA
Tow truck
Christmas day with Brandon's family
Remembering Jesus's birth
Girl time
New Year's Eve party
Exhaustion sets in
Storm sets in
Fall into routine