Hurt

The thought of hurting someone else is far more scary to me than the thought of someone hurting me.

Dear Wise Friends

It's amazing how you can feel so upset about something, so unsure. You feel like your life is about to fall apart.

And then you talk to an old friend, text them a question, and they answer and say, would you like to talk on the phone?

So you call them, and for the next hour they reasure you, and speak words of both wisdom and comfort. They pray for you, on the phone, right then and there. 

Your whole attitude changes. You are no longer crying at the thought of what you need to do. You feel suddenly brave, you remember God is on your side, holding your hand. It's not like you forgot, just now you really feel it, you're really trusting. And you suddenly realize you can do what you need to, you know what needs to be done, you know what needs to be said. And whatever the outcome, it is for the very best. Holding on hurts more in the long run. You can do this.

Doubts

Some thoughts are from God. 

Some are just doubts.

How do you know? How can you tell the difference?

It is a long time, spending the rest of your life with someone...

Happy Anniversary

One year

With you

A single rose

Romantic

Not Working

As I was laying in bed

I heard thunder.

It can't be

It must be something else.

Five minutes

I heard it again.

Definitely thunder.

Please, George

Call and say I don't need to work this morning

Then I can do some stuff that I need to get done before camp.

The phone rings.

No picking will be done this morning.

Maybe not this afternoon either.

He'll call.

Otherwise: come in tomorrow. 

I need the money,

But time is lacking, and I have commitments.

An unspoken, unthought prayer: answered.

Danishes And Regret

When your boss buys you danishes

So sweet, thoughtful of him

That hour of regret when the danish sits your stomach like a rock

Because you are working hard in the heat

And your body would rather put energy into you cooling off, or even walking, than digesting all those carbs

Remind me to say no next time

Bug Eat Bug World

Today at work I had a big, black, hornet-type bug flying around me. By big, I mean it would have been very painful to anger it. So I tread carefully for a few minutes. Then I noticed it had grabbed a grasshopper, which was about twice its size. The hornet was on top of the grasshopper's back, and dragged it on the ground about two feet before stopping. Just as I was beginning to wonder if the grasshopper was dead, the hornet left it, flew a couple circles around it, and flew off. The grasshopper was twitching. I have a feeling the hornet poisoned it, and had flown off to get help to carry it. I hate watching any creature suffer, but I reasoned in my head that if I helped the grasshopper, the hornet would either starve or get another bug. Any which way I looked something got hurt. And this grasshopper probably was paralyzed anyways. I'm not a 'treehugger'. Or anything close. But watching an innocent creature suffer, even a bug, in spite of my extreme dislike and even phobia of bugs, is saddening for me... Am I ridiculous? My friends would probably laugh. It is, after all, only a bug. But if I am honest with myself...

Life Goes By

Day by day

Another has passed.

Work

Teach

Work some more.

Catch up on things, another day gone

Organize time

You've no time left.

Life goes by

Fast fast

Life goes by.

Too Short

Another wonderful 24 hours... No matter how long our weekends together are, they are always too short... But this time it really was to short...

Commitment Issues

My commitment to everything except my boyfriend seems to be lacking...